Since delving into the world of online dating which you can read about here, I've found that I'm being matched with a lot of men in their late 20s, early 30s. Truth be told I've never been one to date younger men but I definitely wouldn't rule it out either.
I'm finding that this particular demographic prefers older women because they are more mature, have their shit together, can carry on an intelligent conversation and are not into playing games or wasting their time. This isn't to say I haven't run across my fair share of the whole cougar fantasy. And trust me when I say I'm not about to be the person who checks something off their bucket list.
And if I'm really being honest because of how young I look I could certainly date someone 10 years my junior without anyone being the wiser.
For me personally it's more important of having a similar lifestyle. Yes I'm 40 but I also don't have any kids. I love going out to dinner, checking out a show, walking around the city and this isn't to say I don't enjoy a night because I absolutely do. I also enjoy spending time alone because it gives me an opportunity to recharge and do the things that make me happy. I'm all about balance.
By no means am I saying that there aren't any men my age out there who don't share similar interests. However the ones that I have spoken to are wanting to settle down, have kids and would rather stay at home than go out for a night on the town.
I'm still hoping that there is someone out there that I have chemistry with, can talk to (like actual phone on phone action), has similar interests and is ready for a relationship.
*UPDATE: I'm happy to report that I didn't give up hope because it actually happened. You can read about it here.
If you are considering dating an older woman, here are a few of my tips to help guide the way.
Here are my Top 5 Tips To Dating an Older Woman (and 3 to avoid)
1. They know what they want
Older women have more life experience and have had their fair share of relationships so don't think for a second that they're willing to bend their rules for you. They will never settle for anything less than what they feel they deserve and are willing to go after exactly what they want in both a relationship and a partner.
2. Be honest about your own intentions Older women are more likely to be honest and upfront with their intentions. Their lives are usually pretty full so they don't like wasting their time with someone who's just into playing games. Because of this they expect you to be upfront with your intentions as well.
3. Act like a man, not a boy While older women may be open to dating younger men, they're definitely not interested in dating boys. Older women still like to go out and have fun but know your audience. While hitting up a club or bar might have been fun when they were younger, most older women have developed more refined tastes and prefer spending time in more low-key environments.
4. Know where you're going in life
Older women are more likely to know which direction their life is headed. They are usually more established and goal oriented. They have less patience for bullshit and shenanigans. They have their life in order and expect the person they're with to have their shit together as well. Having goals and being ambitious are very attractive qualities to have if you're planning on dating an older woman.
5. Embrace your differences Any relationship is a great opportunity for you to learn and grow. Older women can teach you a lot about not only how to date but about who you are as a person. Older women have more experience which means they are likely going to be less reactive and have more control over their emotions. They can also be more open minded so just be yourself and I guarantee they will respect you more for it in the long run.
And here are my Top 3 Tips to Avoid When Dating an Older Woman
1. Go easy with the compliments
I get it. You find me beautiful and sexy. But it's not anything I haven't heard before. Be original. Tell me something about me as a person. Also don't keep pointing out how young I look. I know what I look like and I've worked really hard maintain my health and my appearance.
2. Don't keep pointing out my age
I already know that I'm older than you so there's no reason to keep pointing out the obvious. I always get the "I can't believe you're 40" Well fucking believe it because I am. If I wanted to lie I would say I was 25 and most people would actually believe me.
3. Don't play games
I've been a player in this game a lot longer than you so I'm more apt to call you out on your bullshit. And just because I'm not into the drama, like a lot of younger women out there, doesn't mean I still don't have needs and wants. I still want to be treated like a lady and need things that will keep my happy in a relationship. Being attentive, affectionate and showing appreciation will get you a long way with an older woman.
So there you have it. Just remember that no matter who you're dating whether their older, younger or the same age, being respectful, honest and putting your best foot forward will never go out of style.
And if they don't appreciate you for who you are, move on. Someone else will come along who will appreciate everything you have to offer and trust me it's definitely worth the wait.