Tracy is the creator of Tracys Way, a lifestyle blog focused on dating and relationships. On her weekly blog you can find her writings and sometimes rantings about life, love, sex, dating, food, travel and her feelings about entering her 40s.

Most importantly Tracy encourages women to look beyond the mirror and focus on cultivating self-awareness in order be confident with their body, their image and themselves.

Tracy currently resides in Rhode Island with the love of her life, Chris and their 3 fur kids Doug, Paul and Honey.


Sex, Dating & Technology:  Should You Sleep with Him on the First Date?

Sex, Dating & Technology: Should You Sleep with Him on the First Date?

There are hundreds of articles out there on whether or not you should sleep with a guy on the first date.  And the majority of them say a resounding NO!  But I disagree.  I understand that this topic can definitely get a bit heated on both sides but I'm not going to hold back.

While I understand that it should always be up to the woman if she decides to have sex with a guy, first date or not, there exists a double standard when it comes to how soon you should sleep with someone.  Let's be honest, men do it all the time and no one blinks and eye.  But when a woman does it somehow is elicits questions; the main one being,

"Will he still want a relationship with me if I do?"

Her thought process is also heavily influenced by the fact that if she does decide to sleep with a guy right away she's somehow foregoing the respect from not only the guy, but from her peers as well. WTF?! Why does it always fall solely on the woman?  And for doing exactly the same fucking thing he just did. Two people made the decision to have sex and two people should be accountable for their actions. 

Because she certainly wasn't having sex with herself!

Some women have it in their heads that there's some magic number of dates that they need to go on with a guy before sleeping with them.  There isn't. The hard truth is you could go out on one date with a guy or 20 and he could still call it quits whether you've slept with him or not. I've been on both sides of this exact scenario.  I've slept with men right away and I've also waited but that didn't prevent the relationship from ending. 

Sleep with him.  Don't sleep with him. There is no guarantee he will want to pursue a relationship with you

Read that again...I'll give you minute...

Here are my Top 2 Pieces of Advice if you Should Sleep with Him on the First Date

Fuck the Rules and Own It.  It's that simple.

Everyone has their own set of standards.  While having standards is a good thing, setting hard and fast rules when it comes to when to having sex with someone is ridiculous. At least in my opinion. 

Now if you are a woman who wants to make certain of a man's intentions before you have sex with him, stay true to that.  Own it.  But you're also a grown ass woman who has sexual needs and desires. And if you decide to give into those baser instincts, OWN THAT SHIT TOO!

Have you ever slept with a man on the first date, wake up the next morning and go right into panic mode?  If you start overthinking everything it goes without saying that he's going to pick up on those vibes you're giving off.  Yeah, don't do that. You'll not only freak yourself out but you'll most definitely freak him out too.  And the last thing you want to do is freak out the guy you've just slept with.  The message you're sending to him is that you've not only compromised your own standards but you are second guessing your decision.  It will it make him feel as if he did something wrong and in some cases make him feel less desirable.

Remember, men are just as vulnerable as women

Now this may sound counter intuitive but he'll have a lot more respect for you in the end if you don't freak the fuck out!  I know ladies, it's hard to control our emotions sometimes but try to reign it in.  Men are attracted to women who know what they want and who are decisive in their decisions.  Be it their lifestyle choices, career, and SEX.  

Bottom line. We are all adults who can make our own decisions for ourselves.  Sexual chemistry is important in any relationship.  And if you're not sexually attracted to someone from the get go then you may as well cut your losses and move on. Personally I'd rather know sooner rather than later.  And every situation is different so feel it out first.  If you're comfortable having sex with him then I say GO FOR IT!

When it comes to sex, dating and relationships no one else can decide what is best for you.  Do whatever it is that you feel is right for you. Period. 

Do you have "rules" when it comes to when you decide to sleep with someone? 

Let me know in the comments below. 



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