Tracy is the creator of Tracys Way, a lifestyle blog focused on dating and relationships. On her weekly blog you can find her writings and sometimes rantings about life, love, sex, dating, food, travel and her feelings about entering her 40s.

Most importantly Tracy encourages women to look beyond the mirror and focus on cultivating self-awareness in order be confident with their body, their image and themselves.

Tracy currently resides in Rhode Island with the love of her life, Chris and their 3 fur kids Doug, Paul and Honey.


Sex, Dating & Technology: Jealousy-The Relationship Killer

Sex, Dating & Technology: Jealousy-The Relationship Killer

First off let me address the photo.  I tried looking mad and failed miserably haha! Kinda pathetic but what can you do.  OK now onto the post :)

I have never been a jealous person. And unless someone is doing something to make me jealous on purpose then I don't feel the need to worry about what they're doing or who they're with. 

As most of you know from reading my blog I talk about my fair share of sex.  And to be honest I was worried that if I ever were to get into a relationship with someone they would definitely take issue with it. 

If you follow me on Instagram (which you should) you'll know from time to time I post sexy photos of myself.  While they are sexy, but tasteful, I know they would not sit well with a lot of men.  And if I were to get into a relationship with someone that I'd make it a point to talk to the person about it in order to make sure they were completely comfortable with it as well.

Thankfully Chris is 100% supportive of me including my career and has had zero issue with any of the posts on my Instagram feed.  He's so comfortable and secure with us and our relationship that he even agreed to let me post photos of us together which I absolutely love doing.  You can read about us and our story here.

We are both very fortunate that neither of us are jealous people but I know that isn't always the case. 
So what do you do when it happens and how do you deal with jealousy in a healthy manner?

Here are my Top 5 Ways to Deal with Jealousy

1.  Understanding
Jealously is a complex emotion that's normally accompanied by feelings of fear, anger, envy or inadequacy. The first question you should ask yourself is why you're feeling jealous.  Is it something that the other person has done, something that has happened in your past or is it something within yourself?

Take some time and write down how you're feeling.  Putting things down on paper can help you to sort out what is at the root of your jealousy.

2.  Relationships: Past or Present
If you've ever been in a relationship chances are that you've been hurt.  But just because someone did something to you in the past doesn't mean that your current relationship should pay price.  Ask yourself this. Is your current relationship built on trust?  Does the person treat you the way you deserve to be treated?  Does the person's words match their actions?

If you answered yes to all of these questions then you really need to look within yourself for the answers.  Did someone in your past break your trust by cheating or lying to you?  Were they constantly playing on all your insecurities and doing thing intentionally to make you jealous? 

Don't let the past indiscretions affect your current relationship or any future relationships. 

3.  Feelings
If you’re in a secure and solid relationship, and you’re still feeling jealous, try exploring your own experiences. Anytime you're feeling jealous, try assessing any other feelings that you may be experiencing.  Fear, anger, insecurity?  Then ask yourself why you're feeling those things.  It may not even have to do with your current or even past relationships.  Could it be something that happened with a friend or family member?  Once you figure out the source of these emotions, you can begin to take the positive steps to address them in a healthy and constructive manner.

4.  Power of Positivity
Unless the person you're with has done something to break your trust then you should trust them.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and get stuck inside our own heads.  By doing this you're intentionally sabotaging a good thing.  Don't go looking for stuff and try to find a reason not to trust them.  Stay positive and believe that history won't repeat itself. Otherwise you're going to keep setting yourself up for failure. 

5. Insecurities
Insecurity is one of the most common causes of jealousy.  Are you experiencing feelings of inadequacy like you're not good enough? Try talking to the person you're with about it.  Tell them why you're feeling insecure and allow them to help ease your mind. By recognizing your own insecurities and talking about them you can take the necessary steps to be more open with the person in the future. 

Uncertainly is part of life and we have to learn how to accept it. But you can't go into a situation thinking it's doomed from the start. Try reflecting on what's causing the source of your jealously or reach out to someone you trust and talk to them about it.  They might be able to give you some helpful insight and help you deal with it in a constructive manner. 

Are you a jealous person?

Let me know in the comments below

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