Everyone has had their trust compromised at some point in their lives. It could have been a family member, a friend or a co-worker but for some reason it's always the hardest when it comes to romantic relationships.
So how do you trust someone after heartbreak?
As I've mentioned in previous posts there are no guarantees in life. Letting your guard down with someone new after you've been betrayed, while hard, is necessary in order for you to be in a successful, healthy relationship.
I mentioned integrity in my last post about which you can read about here. This also applies to whether or not you can trust someone. Does this person have integrity? People make mistakes but are their initial intentions good? Are they consistent and do what they say they're going to do?
Trustworthy people's actions simply speak for themselves. If they make a mistake they are forthcoming in explaining any misunderstandings or inconsistencies. They don't leave any room for doubt and certainly don't let it get to the point after they've been caught.
The truth is the fear of getting hurt can actually work against you. We use past experiences to dictate new experiences. It's not that we're all untrustworthy people by nature, we're human. But when you put your trust in someone what you're telling them is that you know that deep down they're good people and good people are not immune from making mistakes. It's more about how you respond when they do mess up and the key is to let them know that you'll be compassionate and understanding when it happens.
Here are to my Top 5 Signs You Can Trust Someone
I believe this is the most important factor that must exist in order for you to truly trust someone. Do they do what they say they're going to do every single time? Being consistent goes hand in hand with whether or not you can trust someone. Are they consistent with little things because it's a good indication that they'll be consistent with bigger issues as well.
Is this person always there when you need them especially when it's inconvenient. Listen, everyone has busy lives but when push comes to shove and there's a real emergency are they willing to drop whatever they're doing to be there for you. This should also stretch beyond your relationship. Are they a good friend, help out their families and are they dependable at their job. By paying attention to the other areas of their life is a clear indication if you can put your trust in them.
I have a zero tolerance policy for lying. Reality can be harsh and people fuck up. It's not the lie that hurts, it's that they are purposely trying to deceive you. This can be a hard one because when you first meet someone you can never be too sure if they're being completely honest with you. However, if they haven't given you a reason not to believe them, try to not be too paranoid. If they feel you can't trust them they're more likely not to be as forthcoming with you when it really counts.
Is the person you're with respectful of you, your feelings and your time? Being respectful of someone shows you that they care. Knowing that someone is respectful of you as a person allows you to open up and in turn makes them comfortable doing the same with you. They will not try to hide things from you by lying because they know that you'll understand.
5. Trust in Themselves
Do they trust themselves? Do they tend to make rash decisions? Are they mindful with their decision making process? Do they easily give into temptations? This is all about self control and if they can trust themselves it will give you more peace of mind to put your trust in them.
How soon do you put your trust in someone? Is it a gut feeling or does it depend on the person?
Let me know in the comments below