Welcome!

Tracy is the creator of Tracys Way, a lifestyle blog focused on dating and relationships. On her weekly blog you can find her writings and sometimes rantings about life, love, sex, dating, food, travel and her feelings about entering her 40s.

Most importantly Tracy encourages women to look beyond the mirror and focus on cultivating self-awareness in order be confident with their body, their image and themselves.

Tracy currently resides in Rhode Island with the love of her life, Chris and their 3 fur kids Doug, Paul and Honey.

 

Sex, Dating & Technology: Top 5 Ways Technology is Ruining Your Relationship

Sex, Dating & Technology: Top 5 Ways Technology is Ruining Your Relationship

Social Media and Technology is becoming one of the biggest causes for couples to fight.  It used to be about marriage, money or kids.

Nowadays people get all up in arms if their significant other isn't active on their social media accounts.  And god forbid you don't update your relationship status on Facebook.  People go all fucking crazy if that doesn't happen immediately.

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't have any real impact on your relationship. And I certainly don't need to update my Facebook status to let other people know I'm in a relationship. Would I update my status if I met the right person?  Absolutely.  But it would be because I wanted to not because I needed to. 

And most recently I finally did.  Why?  Because I have found the man that I was meant to be with.  We are in love and have plans to be with one another for the rest of our lives.  You can read about our story here.

When I was growing up, social media didn't exist.  I remember being excited when my boyfriend passed a note to me in class or called me the minute he got home from school.  I didn't have to worry about whether or not someone followed me or liked and commented on a photo I had posted. 

Nowadays the validity of people's relationships is inexplicably connected to their online lives.  It has become a huge distraction because people have become so focused on what's not happening online rather than on what's actually happening in their real lives.

Social Media isn't real life and why people are letting it get in the way of perfectly great relationships I'll never understand. 

Now technology on the other hand can be a bit more tricky

Technology has made people accessible 24/7.  And because of this it's no wonder that when someone doesn't respond to you within minutes you go into panic mode.  Because let's be honest, most people have their phones attached to them like their life depended on it. 

Some days I have my phone on me and some days I forget it's even there.  Doesn't mean I'm ignoring people. Just means I'm busy doing other things. 

So why do we let social media and technology define our relationships?  When it comes to relationships why does being "liked" on Social Media mean more than being "liked" in real life? 

Here are my Top 5 Ways Technology is Ruining Your Relationship

1.  Do Not Use It to Make Someone Jealous
It's one thing if someone is posting photos specifically to make the other person jealous.  That should never happen. And if it is then you need to have a serious conversation with the person about why they feel the need to do that. It's not healthy and more importantly it's hurtful. 

But if you've ever scrolled through your significant other's feed, come upon a photo of them and their ex and completely lost your shit then that's something you need to address yourself.   Everyone has a past and to think that they wouldn't have photos with other people is just nuts.

If you are in a secure, loving relationship then it shouldn't matter if they have photos of their past relationships.  The operative word being PAST!  Leave that shit there.

2.  Do Not Use It for Bad Behavior
If your relationship is headed for Splitsville, do not, I repeat DO NOT, use social media or technology to cheat, spy or lie to your significant other. 

It's perfectly acceptable for someone to like, comment and follow anyone they want to.  However if they are liking, following or commenting on something that is making you feel uncomfortable then you should definitely speak up.

3.  Do Not Use it as a Weapon
Ever get into a fight with our SO and the next thing you know they're posting all these photos of themselves out with friends having a great time.  Or worse they start posting all those crazy quotes from Pinterest about being a priority not an option.

Address it as quickly and calmly as possible.  Using social media in place of communicating with your significant other should be a red flag that something bigger is happening with your relationship than you realize.

4.  Do Not Use It to Cross Privacy Boundaries
We all need a privacy in our lives.  But if someone is being too private with their social media and technology then it may make you wonder if they're trying to hide something from you.

The true sign of a trusting relationship is if you would be able to hand over your phone to your SO and let them go through it. If you aren't able to do that then you should be asking yourself why.

5.  Do Not Use It to Escape Real Life
I hate seeing those couples out to dinner and both of them are sitting there on their phones.  No one talks or has actual conversations anymore. Put the phone down and leave it there. Start a conversation, reconnect over a nice dinner or get up and get out of the house and do something fun together. 

If you'd rather be on your phone than being engaged with your significant other especially when you're with one another then why are you with them in the first place.  You may as well be home alone sitting on your couch trolling the internet or browsing social media.

Do you think people are too "plugged in"?

Let me know in the comments below

 

 

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