Sex, Dating & Technology: A Fresh Start
There will be times in your life when you need to wipe the slate clean for a fresh start.
And my time is now. I had spoken about patterns in one of my last posts and how I had decided to break mine. You can read about that here.
I realized that by going back into the situation with Mr. Jigsaw that I was continuing the very pattern I had spoken about. Granted we weren't in a "relationship" but he was exactly what I needed and wanted at that point in my life. However I was going along with something that wasn't necessarily working for me or making me happy anymore.
That being said, I don't think I was being completely honest with myself either. Did I want a relationship with him? No. We were never going to be compatible for anything long term. But did I want to be in a relationship at some point? Yes. And by continuing what I now refer to as my "non-relationship" with Mr. Jigsaw I realized I was closing myself off to the possibility of it ever happening in the future. You can read about my thoughts on "non-relationships" here.
Both of us made it very clear from the start that if one of us were to meet someone we wanted to get into a relationship with, ours would come to and end. While our arrangement was uncomplicated, it certainly had the potential to get to that point.
For example, say Mr. Jigsaw and I had made plans to go out and one of us met someone else who we other made plans with for the very same night.
Do we keep the original plans together or did we cancel in order to discover something new?
I didn't have an answer to that because Mr. Jigsaw and I have never had to cancel our plans with one another. The possibility for either of us to meet someone else has always been there. It just hadn't happened for either of us.
I met someone that has completely changed my view about online dating and relationships. It's a funny story actually but one that I'm not quite ready to talk about in detail. But I will tell you this. He was a beautiful, unexpected surprise and one that I can't wait to explore further.
I also came to the realization that I was never going to be completely open to finding what I was looking for if I continued seeing Mr. Jigsaw. I had to close one door in order for another one to open.
And I swung that new door open with so much force that it pretty much came off the hinges.
My time with Mr. Jigsaw was great but we did have some issues along the way. Issues that shouldn't be happening when you're in a non-relationship.
I'm sure some of you are wondering if I'll continue to talk to him. I don't really know but our communication has significantly slowed down. And if I'm really being honest I feel that it will most likely continue in that direction the more time I spend with the new man in my life.
Being with Mr. Jigsaw was certainly a lot of fun but I'm ready for my next adventure.